I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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