What a fucking waste of an outfit
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will pee on everything he values.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
