No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
