please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
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Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.