i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me