did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection