he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
its like you know when i get waxed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.