I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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