You work out of a Hotel?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
