I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
