Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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