guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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