I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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