How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
