My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
