she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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