Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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