so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
