you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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