But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You are the jesus of drinking
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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