girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
