what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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