i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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