even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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