hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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