First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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