I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
