im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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