My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
