I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
