I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
