brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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