Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
