Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
false alarm. still invincible.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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