THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
