Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
