But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
