i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
