Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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