I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
sex in a hospital.. check
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
