it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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