I'm so fucking centered right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
