I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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