I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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