You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
