i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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