i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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