I am spending my child support on dildos
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
