Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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