I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
