you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
