so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
