How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
