He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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