i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
A+ Viking dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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