She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
