That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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