I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
