I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
