yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
