I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
