Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
