just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
