K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
