i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
please come you make the beer taste better
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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