I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
