I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
