I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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